These four little words could be “open sesame” to something much more romantic than a mug of  steaming hot Joe and a cinnamon roll.  Thank your lucky stars if a coffee date turns out to be a winner and leads to a regular date, and another, and another.

But suppose your date shows up and no sparks fly and no bells ring. You’re just not into each other.  That can be disappointing,  but look at the bright side. A coffee date was short, inexpensive and safe, especially for women. You go your separate ways with no real regrets. You realize that a coffee date is a relatively painless way to meet somebody face to face for the first time ever.

Count your blessings.  You don’t have to pay or share the cost of lunch or dinner, wine or drinks, tips and even a new outfit. You can leave after spending just half an hour in a well lighted, cheerful coffee shop where people can’t drink too much wine or martinis and turn nasty or noisy or both. You are mastering the art of coffee dating.

Tips for a Great Coffee Date

• Relax. Remember that this is just a first meeting. Concentrate on the here and now instead of thinking relationship, commitment and even marriage. Let things develop naturally.  You don’t have to go through a serious make-over or buy something new and expensive for a first meeting. Just wear comfortable clothes and shoes that you know make you feel good and look good.

• Don’t expect too much but be open to possibilities. Remember that 8 out of 10 people tell little white lies on dating sites. Chances are, you’ve done it too.  So the person you’re meeting may be a few pounds heavier, a few years older and a few inches shorter than what Internet pictures have led you to expect. If you don’t consider this a deal breaker, then good for you!

• Enthusiastically look forward to your coffee date. Your date might turn out to be really funny, charming, clever and someone who shares your love of  indie films and Chinese take-out. It could be the start of a new friendship or the beginning of a new romance.

• Give yourself a briefing. Review what you know about your date from the emails or letters you’ve exchanged, online or phone chats, from data available in the dating website, and from other sources.  By remembering the details you’ve learned about your date, you’ll be able to have a more engaging conversation.

• Concentrate on letting your date get to know you and vice versa.  Turn off your mobile phone and devote the whole half hour or so to face-to-face communication with one another.  During this first meeting you’ll typically talk about mutual interests and may encompass experiences with former partners and former relationships.

• Try to set the date somewhere comfortable. Find a coffee shop that is not too crowded, spacious enough for private conversations and interesting enough to be a good topic of conversation. Avoid being late. At the same time don’t be so early that it would make you look anxious and tense, instead of laid back and confident.

• If you had a good time, don’t be timid. Suggest another date. By doing this, you are clearing showing your interest. If your date says yes, the feeling is mutual. Good luck!